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A friend asked me to lend him money...

long story short, I've lend him many many times and I don't want to do it anymore... what do you think of my response ?? :

"I want to help you but I have to be responsible and look after my parents and support and protect my family who has helped me through everything... especially during times like now..."

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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family, money, times, lend, decision
Replies (16)
Anonymous edited this post .

A friend asked me to lend him money... long story short, I've lend him many many times and I don't want to do it anymore... what do you think of my response ?? :¬ ¬ "I want to help you but I have to be responsible and look after my parents and support and protect my family who has helped me through everything... especially during times like now... most of my money are used for expense already...😕 My brother's family had a bit of problems aswell however I won't go into detail... I hope you won't hate me...but you can and I will never blame you for it... sorry I don't deserve your friendship... and if you never want to talk to me again I understand and will always cherish the time we spent together... you are irreplaceable... I'm not placing my family ahead of you ... but I have to make a rational decision..."

Electric
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last online: 01/25, 20:20
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(2 hours after post)
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If he has always paid you back, there should be no reason not to loan him what he asks for (unless you just don't have it).

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Anonymous
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(7 hours after post)
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He couldn't pay me back as he choose to live in expensive apartment when he couldn't afford it... borrowed high interest loan when he knew he couldn't pay back, buy a new computer when he didn't even have a job... I've helped him to pay off debt and rent but it seems that he still insists on doing things his own way... I can't deal with it...

Electric
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Yeah - don't do it.
He's made irresponsible choices with the money he has borrowed in the past.
He's looking for people to enable him.
As the old saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
I've been in serious binds before and needed loans. Those situations really suck because being in someone else's debt is almost as bad, so, I've used loans as responsibly as possible to ensure it never happens again.
You don't have to feel guilty.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(8 hours after post)
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What do you think it's the best response I could give him without giving him any hard feelings?

I also hate the fact that I'm always messaging him asking him how he is etc , he from time to time writes back (70% of the time he just ignored me), but I feel that the biggest reason he maintained his relationship with me is for financial help...

61m5eztj 2l
BananaLlama
last online: 04/27, 9:23
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(13 hours after post)
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Anonymous wrote:
What do you think it's the best response I could give him without giving him any hard feelings?

I also hate the fact that I'm always messaging him asking him how he is etc , he from time to time writes back (70% of the time he just ignored me), but I feel that the biggest reason he maintained his relationship with me is for financial help...

If that's the case then I think the response does not even matter. Just tell him no and cut him loose. He's not your friend, your his bank.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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(17 hours after post)
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You have zero obligation to help anyone financially. It would be easier to say no if you had not helped them in the past. Stick to your guns. Yes they will be b*tt hurt but that's on them. Hopefully they will get over it.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

Electric
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(18 hours after post)
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What do you think it's the best response I could give him without giving him any hard feelings?

Some times people need a reminder that they're not the only ones who walk the earth.
In my experience, one good thing you could say is; "I'd like to help, but I've got a few of my own problems right now."

X3w8w
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Thanks for your response everyone! I wrote him a really long reply !
So lets say if in a couple of days I didnt receive a response from him I'd know that he doesn't care about me.

So sad , he's someone I considered at one point my best friend.

Electric
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Helper wrote:

So, let's say if in a couple of days I didnt receive a response from him I'd know that he doesn't care about me.

Don't take it too overboard - he might take some time to grovel and get the bad news out of his system. Once he settles down, he will in all likelihood, get back in touch with you. It may take a couple days, weeks (maybe a couple of months), but a period of silence doesn't mean he has stopped caring for you as a friend.

So sad, he's someone I considered at one point my best friend.

It can still be that way.
Time will tell.

Inbound1896536404
Gone
last online: 05/14, 23:04
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(2 days after post)
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Never lend money. It can destroy a friendship. If you do lend him money make it a gift. Only if you can.

X3w8w
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(4 days after post)
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I think the moment he asked if I had refused the friendship wouldn't have lasted until now, sad but true, still haven't heard a response

Electric
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(4 days after post)
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Helper wrote:
I think the moment he asked if I had refused the friendship wouldn't have lasted until now, sad but true, still haven't heard a response

If that truly is the case, that makes you free to make new (and better) friends! Choose carefully.

X3w8w
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(5 days after post)
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He is my best friend though... well I thought.

X3w8w
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(5 days after post)
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but yes you are right!!! I'll make better friends :)

Electric
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(5 days after post)
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That's the spirit!
It's good to see you around, Helper. You should stop in more often, if possible- maybe even drag some new on-line friends through the door with you.

X3w8w
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(5 days after post)
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I should yeah! I should help to promote the site a bit, but I am not very active online like I used to be due to my job and all ^^;

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