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909 replies, Replies 861 to 870

I’ve been off my anxiety medicine for awhile now since I lost my health insurance a few months ago.

Araz wrote:
I think he feels like it’s an excuse too sometimes. I’m used to pushing aside my stress and anxiety and barreling through it and pretending like everything is fine until I’ve held everything in for so long that I blow up and am told that I’m “being crazy.” I for sure am usually being crazy at that moment but its hard to get off the crazy train for a few hours once I’m on it.

And then I’m back to holding it all in again.

Lano, maybe I’m just crazy. 😕

Blowing up isn't the end of the world, and we're all a little crazy so there's a degree to which the people who love you just need to adjust to your crazy and apologize on your behalf to the people who don't love you for the embarrassment.

Again, this happened to my girlfriend a few weeks ago, she put herself in an uncomfortable situation (sticking it out for a friend of hers) and reacted to it and I was like, sweetie, you need to calm down, and we ended up going for a ten minute walk so that she could cool off.

I told her, hey, you need to just tell your friend that you can't do something if you're not up for it, don't put yourself in that situation, and don't feel bad that you reacted badly under pressure, it happens.

You can just tell him that until you get back on your medication it might be tough for you to be as social as you used to be. Communication is key. It could be that he's not realizing how hard it is for you right now so when he wants to go out and have fun with you and you say no, it feels kinda fresh and confusing to him, even though it is same-****shit-different-day to you. Like if that day is a particularly anxious day, just let him know as soon as you feel it so he knows how to adjust, or so that you can talk to him about it.

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I’ve been off my anxiety medicine for awhile now since I lost my health insurance a few months ago.

Araz wrote:

I really didn’t think about it that way at all. That does make me feel better. Husband doesn’t have anxiety at all, he’s pretty much the most laid back person ever, so he doesn’t understand it.

It's hard because a lot of people don't think about the mental health dynamic of wellness and they think you're making an excuse or something. Sometimes it helps the change the language to something they can relate too. someone asked me recently why I ddin't show up to a social meet up for a while, and the reason was my anxiety, but I said "I just needed a break for a little bit." People don't always understand mental health lingo but if you say stuff like "I'm just really tired." or something similar they can relate more.

In any case if you have regular anxiety bad enough that you are taking medication for it, I'm surprised your husband doesn't empathize more. It can be tough, my own girlfriend has issues where she gets really physically tired and she thinks it may be related to some of her mental health issues. But there have been a few times where I felt like she was using it as an excuse to avoid me or something, my own insecurity creeping up.

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I’ve been off my anxiety medicine for awhile now since I lost my health insurance a few months ago.

It sounds like the problem is that you need to get on your old medication as soon as possible. It could be that that is the root of all these problems. Not trying to be political here, but you might need yourself some Obamacare, it tied me over for two or three years when I was no longer covered by my parents insurance and before I was getting insurance through my job. I paid NOTHING for it. Check it out.

My girlfriend refused to get it because it was "too expensive" (she's getting insurance through her job now). Yet she dished out the penalty every year when she paid her income tax. Doesn't make sense to me.

Araz wrote:

I’ve stopped going out - the last three parties I was invited to, I skipped (hubby went without me and made up some excuse about me not feeling well.)

You weren't. You're having anxiety. That's a good reason not to go to a party.

Araz wrote:

I don’t feel like I have anyone to really talk to about my day to day problems. I don’t want to burden my husband with things he can’t “fix” and I don’t want my friends to think I’m not fun, especially since I rarely see them.

Depends on the friends. Some friends are easier to talk to and you can vent to them. Some friends are fun friends, you need to just destress by having fun with them, that can sometimes be better than venting.

Araz wrote:

(Does not feeling attractive make me shallow for focusing on my looks?)

I find that feeling attractive is a need that most women have. It's biological. Your husband has to help you with that by grabbing your butt and kissing you and telling you you're beautiful.


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My girlfriend and I need a ride.

Anonymous wrote:

Now lets just change the roles in this scenario. Lets say I was driving my mom and my girlfriend someplace.. ok. For me I would really honestly say that I would put my girlfriend in the front and my mom in the back.

You're not really presenting a challenging scenario there. It would kinda be weird if you didn't do it that way.

Rather, consider if it was your mom driving. Wouldn't you want to sit in the front? Should your girlfriend feel disrespected because you're sitting up front with your mom, chatting away about old times while she sits awkwardly in the back? Wouldn't it feel weird if there was no one in the passenger seat while you two sat in the back?

Anonymous wrote:

Just another factor is when we go dancing she sometimes leaves me to dance with other males.

This might be bad, but it really depends on the context. Are you not dancing at all? Is it a club? Is she dancing with randos or good friends? How freaky is the dancing? Depending on the answers it could be innocent or it could be a bad situation.

Anonymous wrote:
Shes a flirt with males and gets off on it because of her looks.
What I need to decide is if I can respect myself with this abuse..

See, THIS is something completely different. She's flirting with other guys? Are you sure? If you are, and it's bothering you, you're completely within your right as a long time boyfriend to ask her that she stop. Don't freak out about it, just be like, hey, it seems to me sometimes like you're flirting with other guys, and it really bothers me. Talk about it.

As an afterthought, are you sure she's just being a flirt? Maybe she's mad at you about something and chatting it up with other guys to get on your nerves.

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My girlfriend and I need a ride.

When i read the title of this post i was like...he's really gonn as for a ride on here? Lol

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My girlfriend and I need a ride.

Of course, this is assuming its just the three of you in the car.

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My girlfriend and I need a ride.

Hmmm. I don't really blame you for your feelings but at the same time, ive been in this situation several times where the friend is female and i never had a problem with it, and you should ask yourself if you would care if it was a girl giving the ride instead of a guy.

Just because you're in the backseat doesnt mean you cant participate in the convo. If it feels like when he's around that she's ignoring you, thats a seperate issue from the seating arrangement.

If you're feeling left out, sit behind her and stroke her shoulder casuaaly. It'll remind her that you're there and she'll enjoy it.

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The old farmer

All the men who went to war came back with a million dollars. The neighbor said bad luck, the farmer said maybe. All the money that was given to the soldiers was laced with poison. Theneighbor said good luck. The farmer said maybe.

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I need to get out more.

also for some serious advice:

What I did was I got a new hobby, namely board games. I use meetup.com and I found a few board game groups in my area and I just showed up. People are generally friendly to newcomers at such things. Anyway, I did that for like two years and finally made friends with one person there. Isn't that crazy? I wasn't even trying to, I just wanted to play more board games.

What I'm saying is, sometimes if you broaden the horizons of what you enjoy, it will also broaden your social circile, though it may take a real long time if you're antisocial like me.

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I need to get out more.

smiley wrote:

music=life wrote:
I like to give people complaints. Just the little things like ‘I like your shoes’ or saying happy Friday to people.

If I compliment someone's shoes, what if they think I am able to talk shoes? If they start about pumps and slides and whatever, I'll just stand there looking stupid.

People tend not to change the subject so suddenly, in my opinion. Pumps are used to push air or water or fuel from one area into another area via mechanical means. While slides are a mode of transportation that relies completely on gravity.

So not much to do with shoes !!!

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